At the end of the day - no matter the ups or downs you had on your walk, no matter what anyone says, no matter what social media shows, and no matter how small or big your dog’s day to day world is - your dog is a good dog. Period.
Your dog deserves space in the world, to go outside and sniff, jump, climb, play, and explore. They deserve a fulfilling life. And you deserve the chance to experience that world with them.
YOUR Relationship is the One That Matters
Reactivity is not a conscious choice your dog is making. Reactivity is a response to being overwhelmed. Your dog isn’t waiting around for their walk all day thinking, ‘Hmm, I sure can’t wait to bark, lunge, and look crazy at the first dog I see on my walk today, just to make a big show!’ They are simply responding in an instinctual way to a situation that has caused them to feel emotionally overwhelmed, and unable to cope calmly anymore. Your dog is not reacting because they are ‘stubborn,’ ‘mean,’ or ‘not obedient.’
It doesn’t matter what your neighbor says. Or what that person at the park said. And it certainly doesn’t change because someone on the trail gave a dirty look towards you. It’s ok that they don’t understand - what does matter, is that you understand that you and your dog are trying your best.
People might shout well-meaning, but incorrect, advice from across the road, or they may shout snide remarks about a reactive dog out in public. These comments come from a place of misunderstanding. They have never experienced day to day life with a reactive dog before. And they have no idea what your dog is like in other contexts. They haven’t seen the adorable way your dog snuggles up with you at home, or how they play with their dog friends in the yard. Of course, they also don’t know anything about the training journey you and your reactive dog are on. Strangers you pass on walks don’t see all of the times that your dog is a good dog. They’re only seeing a small glimpse.
It’s my job to advocate and protect my dog out in public. I’ve been out countless times with a reactive dog and have had to ask a person approaching for space, only to have that person respond that my dog shouldn’t be out in public if they can’t handle it. Well, we are handling it - but in our own way, on our own time, and with the distances we need for now.
Environment Matters
Reactive dogs deserve to get to see the world. Being kept at home and never getting exposure will never make their reactivity go away, and we all have to start somewhere.
Leash reactivity is often ‘contagious.’ Most reactive dogs develop the behavior by exposure to other dogs they pass on walks. When they are a young, impressionable pup, not quite full of the confidence of an adult dog, and they’re faced with another dog barking and lunging at them from behind a fence, or reacting to them as they pass by on a walk, it’s understandably a very scary situation for them. Often the other dog’s owner isn’t even aware of how stressed their dog is, so they do nothing to try to redirect their dog or create space. Meanwhile, your dog is starting to learn that other dogs out there are scary, threatening, and maybe aren’t friends. Their nervousness results in them reacting themselves, telling those scary dogs coming towards them to ‘stay away…or else!’
Leash reactivity can also be learned through frustration. If as pups they are allowed to greet every dog and person they meet on walks, it sets up an expectation of meeting everyone. There comes a point where they just can’t contain their excitement, and that excitement boils over into frustration when they are on leash and can’t get there fast enough, resulting in a reaction. Feeling frustration regularly can also contribute to anxiety - imagine wanting something so much, but having no idea how to get it, over and over again. It’s a confusing emotion and such a hard mental space for a dog!
Regardless of if their reactivity is fear or frustration based - the bottom line is that your reactive dog has big feelings and is emotionally overwhelmed beyond what they can cope with. We would never expect a person feeling this much to simply stay calm, go for an easy stroll, be able to do their taxes, or casually smile and move on. It takes a lot of emotional maturity for us humans to manage these big emotions with grace and re-regulate our nervous systems. We can’t expect dogs to simply figure this out on their own, and to expect them to have more emotional maturity than us! They need help, support, and guidance through the process.
Which brings us back to the fact that - reactive dog is a good dog. They are just overwhelmed and need your help and your guidance. Reactive dogs deserve to have space in the world where they can be dogs. They deserve the training and opportunities to learn how to experience the world without stress.
You're Not Alone
We get it. We’ve been there. We know how amazing your dog is as your companion, and we want to help you to them show that brilliant side to the world!
We’re here to help you and your dog figure out a way forward together. Check out our Repairing Reactivity course for a comprehensive guide on how to help change your dog’s emotions. Let's get out there and see things together!
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